Top Ten US Airways’ Excuses For Pilot’s Gun Going Off in the Cockpit

David Letterman

Compliments of David Letterman, and the Late Show Top Ten List Tuesday night.

10. Thought it would be fun to shoot empty liquor bottles.

9. Air traffic controller’s “Clear to land” misheard as “Squeeze off a “round.”

8. Media never reports when plane takes off and pilot’s gun doesn’t go off.

7. Pilot thought he saw one of them “Cloverfield” Godzillas — Buy “Cloverfield” on DVD April 22nd.

6. Oh, like you’ve never fired a weapon onboard a passenger plane before.

5. Don’t worry — His parole officer was in the cockpit.

4. Chillax, bro.

3. This is what happens when you let Dick Cheney fly a plane — Did you see it coming folks?

2. If you didn’t want gunplay, maybe you should have flown United!

1. Pilot distraught after picking Duke to win it all.